Enjoying the Little Things

When I first started this blog eight years ago it was a place to capture the little unknown blessings of the day to day. I believe in God – in fact I know He lives and loves me and blesses me constantly. Sometimes we loose focus on those little blessings and forget to look for them especially with all the nonsense that faces us on a daily basis. How many hours do I spend mindlessly watching the television? How many hours of my day am I clicking refresh on facebook only to see that nothing has changed or it’s just more of the depressing political arguments clogging my feed? How many times a day do I open instagram to see things that really don’t matter to me from people I don’t even know but I follow them anyway because their life seems so much more glamorous and better than mine? By spending all those hours looking through my life, around my life, and at anything but my life I miss out on so much. Too much.

I’ve been thinking this week what can I do to more fully see my life? What can I do to notice more of the little blessings I sat out eight years ago to find? I think the answer only comes in removing some of these items from my day to day habits. Not completely but I don’t need them staring at me in my face all day long – all the time. Other peoples lives shouldn’t be the first thing I think about when I wake up nor the last thing I think about before I go to bed at night. It’s hard to count your blessings or thank your Father in Heaven for the things He has given you throughout the day if you don’t notice them. One of my friends posted this quote yesterday:

Then she said, “Take action! Are you doing what you know is right? Is there something small and simple you can add or change to enrich your life?” This really hit me – especially the small & simple. There are so many small and simple things I could remove from my life! So many. Like I said before this year, for me, is just trying to live the best I can each day. Some days I struggle. Some days I have to fight. Some days are wonderful. I know I would see more wonderful days if I focused more on what should be the focus in my life. Me and my family. This month I really want to try – less social media, less television, more reading, more scripture study, more life (whatever that means), and more living while doing less mindless actions for the day.

Facebook only at certain times of the day not every time I see a computer in my view or have my phone in my hand. Instagram lunch break or if I want to post something. I also will be removing all the people I don’t get anything of value from following. Television I’ve actually done really good in this area – especially after getting my grandmothers piano – I’d rather play than watch TV – so really I usually watch Jeopardy every day along with one other show and that’s about it. Which for me is a HUGE change.

I know changing habits won’t be easy – in fact it will probably be quite difficult to do – but I’m willing to try it. I want to reprioritize my life to the things that matter – because really finding what matters to you in your life relieves so much un-needed and un-wanted pressure and stress or at least I’m hoping that will be what occurs! So like the gold inkling that came with my planner for this year…

.becoming active.

 

 

 

The title doesn’t really narrow anything down. I’ve been trying to write this post since December maybe? It has been toiling in my mind. The words spinning into circles not forming anything that made even a tiny bit of sense. I’ve been staring at this cursor blinking at me ever since I changed into my PJ’s after church and sat down at the computer. I’ve been ‘planning’ on becoming more active in all aspects of my life for a few months, but haven’t actual done the ‘active’ part, and it’s about time that that changes.

I’ve sat here tonight and accomplished pretty much everything that was on my plan last week, and wrote my new plan for next week.

I want to be more active in my life. Find and do those things that I love. Start loving my life, but more importantly – start living my life. I’ve lost about 40 pounds in the past year. Yes, that’s a good weight loss. No, it’s not as good as it could have been had I even applied myself with an ounce of the planning and preparing that I do/did.

I want to wake up and be perfect tomorrow but I know that isn’t going to happen – it’s only going to happen after many days, months, and years of applying myself & dedicating myself to myself every minute of everyday.

I want to be active in church, attending every Sunday. Reading and Studying the Gospel everyday – studying for Sunday School and Relief Society so I can get the most out of each lesson.

I want to be active in my neighborhood, serving those around me. Getting to know them – to love them for the people they are. I’ve never really enjoyed service but moving into a very service oriented ward I’m finally getting a thirst for it.

I want to become more active in my life. I want my life to mean something.

I want everyday that I awake to be lived the the best that it can – either doing something that I love and enjoy or helping others do things they love and enjoy.

I commit to become active in my life. Do everything that I can to make each day amazing.

No to Excess, Yes to Self-Mastery

Ever since I was younger, I’ve never told myself no, EVER. I like to buy things, pretty things, fun things, whatever - and as sad as it is to admit, it’s true. I have no problem saying no to others, I do it all the time, except when it comes to myself the word “no” does not exist in my vocabulary. This needs to change, now. So June (I can’t believe it’s June already) is my month of no.

 

No to excuses

No to new toys

No to un-healthy foods

No to “I need it I think”

No to overspending

No to buying non-necessities

 

This month I will only buy items the are essential. I will only eat foods that are good fuel for my body. So I suppose I should change my “mantra” to No to Bad/Non-Essential and Yes to Good.

 

One of the leaders of our church, Kent D. Watson (Second Quorum of the Seventy) gave a great talk on this topic, at least I think it fits well. He says, “Likewise, a temperate soul—one who is humble and full of love—is also a person of increased spiritual strength. With increased spiritual strength, we are able to develop self-mastery and to live with moderation. We learn to control, or temper, our anger, vanity, and pride. With increased spiritual strength, we can protect ourselves from the dangerous excesses and destructive addictions of today’s world. We all seek peace of mind, and we all desire security and happiness for our families. If we look for silver linings in this past year’s economic downturn, perhaps the trials some have faced have taught us that peace of mind, security, and happiness do not come from buying a home or accumulating possessions for which the debt incurred is larger than our savings or income can afford. We live in an impatient and intemperate world full of uncertainty and contention. It is like the community of converts to various religions where Joseph Smith lived when he was a 14-year-old boy seeking answers to his questions. Young Joseph said, “All their good feelings one for another, if they ever had any, were entirely lost in a strife of words and a contest about opinions.” ⁷

Security for our families comes from learning self-control, avoiding the excesses of this world, and being temperate in all things. Peace of mind comes from strengthened faith in Jesus Christ.”

Be steady in our lives - with everything, we need not have the short, frenzied, outbursts of emotion, but the steady and tranquil dedication of a lifetime. I really want to work on this, this month. So in saying no to myself for the extras, I will be saying yes to developing my self-mastery and learning to live with moderation. The video below (the first 20m) is one that I want to listen to often and become that strong, steady righteous person.

 

 

By saying no, I want to become: The one who goes to bed at a decent hour each night to get enough rest to attend to my next day duties. The one who puts away the excess hobbies (whatever they may be)to focus on the needs of myself, and my family. The one who diligently attends Sunday meetings. The one who studies scriptures and journals every evening. I want the focus on my life to be on the good. While doing the excess (computer, video games, friends, television, movies, etc.) is okay - I want to re-align my priorities, to be that of putting my number one focus on pursuing the greatest self I can be, and on my Family and Faith, and the rest will fill in accordingly. Have you ever seen the rocks/sand demonstration? Steven Covey does a video of it, that is great, but this month I’m dumping out all of my stones, pebbles, and sand and re-organizing them!

 

Do not say, “When I am free I will pursue wisdom; For you will never be free”.

 

So here's to re-focusing, and re-prioritizing!

My Food Revolution

About 24 hours 3 months ago, I watched Food, Inc. I cried. I was confused. I was apathetic. I still don’t know how I feel, I now have a grasp on how I feel and what I want to do to change. I’ve tried to figure it out in my head so obviously it’s not working. So I decided to figure it out here on my blog, out loud so to speak. This movie covers a lot of different aspects: Mass Food Production, Laws/Bills, Sustainable Foods, etc. There are many different emotions I had while watching the movie and so here goes my thoughts, there is so much in my head that to make it easier on myself and those 3 of you that read to understand, I’m going to take their 10 points of change from their site and discuss  them, so here goes nothing…

1. Stop Drinking Sodas and other sweetened beverages - The one main reason I believe for this is because of the over use of corn in our lives, and it’s just not good for your plain and simple. I’ve already started to do this (except lately I fell off the wagon big time when Safeway was having their Buy 2 Get 3 Free sale), but it is something I’m working towards-not only does the corn syrup hinder your process of your digestive system, it causes calories to be misplaced and your body to store extra fat. The carbonation breaks down your bones and enhances arthritis.

2. Eat At Home Instead Of Eating Out - This I agree with at least for the majority. I don’t think there is anything wrong with eating out at restaurants in your town to help support the economy and local businesses - but I do want to try to stay away from the larger non-healthy places such as McDees, BK, etc… this has been going on for awhile since I watched Biggest Loser and the propaganda filled Biggie Size Me (which I was not a fan of how it was produced/directed), but believe there are healthier options by bringing your dinner/lunch from home (not to mention cheaper) – but if you need to grab something on the go, there are better/healthier places to do so in your area, google it and look around your office for some new choices.

3. Support the Passage of Laws Requiring Chain Restaurants to Post Calorie Information on Menus and Menu Boards - I personally like this idea but I think it should be posted where it is accessible via online, drive-thru, menu there are a lot of calories in food that we don’t know are there, and sometimes I do wonder about what is actually used in my meal preparation.

4. Tell Schools to Stop Selling Sodas, Junk Food, and Sports Drinks - I don’t think this is the way to go about this, I feel it compromises choice and agency to choose what you drink I think instead healthier options should be made available and let the person control their own desires, but I think to ban them from places is wrong. This should be taught/or not taught in the home – this lies with the parents to decide how they want to raise their children, in my high school (10 years ago, wow!) we had soda, sports drinks, juices, water, chips, organic granola bars, candy bars, corn chips, gum etc. It was up to us to make that decision on what we put in our mouth and body, not the government – which is how it should be. Take your own snacks from home, etc.

5. Go Without Meat Once A Week - This I think is a good thing, being raised LDS I have always loved having the Word of Wisdom to follow and live by, however it seems we focus a lot on the cannots (NO coffee, tea, drugs, alcohol, tobacco) and not so much on the what you should dos (eat fruits/vegetables in their season, eat meat sparingly-cold/winter/famine and this fits that, also that we should be eating lots of whole grains) - I’m not becoming a vegetarian/pescatarian/vegan/etc - I think that following the Word of Wisdom and eating in season and eating meat sparingly is the way it should be - our bodies need the fat, the protein, the carbs, etc - but in moderation, and in season. I love going to our town farmers market every Saturday with all the fresh produce, it’s so colorful and rich in flavor, and if I have to spend a little extra moo-lah to support that and have the better tasting fruit/veggies and help the farmers, then so be it.

6. Buy organic/sustainable foods with little or no pesticides – Ok. Sounds good, seems right – but in my personal family, I think eating in season and washing your veggies with a good ol vinegar/baking powder mix is good enough for us at this stage in our lives.

7. Protect Family Farms – Visit Your Local Farmer’s Market – Nooooo problem! As mentioned above this is one of my favorite weekly things to-do. There is an indescribable difference between grocery store produce that has been shipped in from who knows where and fresh yummy farmers market produce that has been brought in from behind my house.

8. Make A Point To Know Where Your Food Comes From – Read Labels – This I have started doing, and you would be surprised how much crap (can’t find a better word to use) is in the foods we’re used to buying on a daily basis. I’ve been sticking to the ‘outer perimeter’ rule when in the grocery store, and when I am buying canned items, I take my time to compare and read and then purchase my best option.

9. Tell Congress That Food Safety Is Important to You – this is up to you and your feelings, this can go either way for me, what’s too much, how far is too far – in limiting/telling the people what they should/shouldn’t be doing.

10. Demand Job Protection – I haven’t dug into this or researched it any so I am going to not write a ‘thought’ for this item.

 

So there is/are my resolutions: Eat more fruits/veggies in season. Buy from my farmers market. Read/Pay Attention to where my food is coming from, and for your pleasure my needing a place to list this for me I have typed out a seasonal eating chart for Northern California but this is a really good resource to find what’s in season where you live.

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Yearly Eats - Asian Greens, Avocados, Beans, Beets, Broccoli, Cabbage, Cardoons, Carrots, Chard, Cauliflower, Collards, Dried Fruit, Endive, Fennel, Garlic, Herbs, Horseradish, Kale, Leeks, Lemons, Lettuces, Mushrooms, Onions, Oranges, Potatoes, Radish, Scallions, Spinach 

January - Bok Choy, Brussels Sprouts, Cauliflower, Gourds, Grapefruit, Guava, Kiwi, Limes, Mandarins, Parsnips, Pears, Persimmons, Pomelos, Rutabaga, Sunchokes, Tangerines, Turnips, Walnuts

 

February - Asparagus, Brussels Sprouts, Cauliflower, Cress, Gourds, Grapefruit, Green Garlic, Guava, Kiwi, Kumquats, Limes, Mandarins, Parsnips, Pears, Pomelos, Rutabaga, Tangerines, Turnips, Walnuts

 

March - Artichokes, Arugula, Asparagus, Bok Choy, Brussels Sprouts, Cauliflower, Cress, Gourds, Grapefruit, Green Garlic, Guavas, Kiwi, Kumquats, Limes, Mandarins, Parsnips, Pomelos, Rutabaga, Strawberries, Tangerines, Turnips, Walnuts

 

April - Artichokes, Arugula, Asparagus, Bok Choy, Cauliflower, Celery, Cherries, Grapefruit, Green Garlic, Guavas, Kumquats, Limes, Mandarins, Parsnips, Peas, Pomelos, Rhubarb, Rutabaga, Strawberries, Tangerines, Turnips, Walnuts

 

May - Apricots, Artichokes, Arugula, Asparagus, Basil, Blackberries, Blueberries, Bok Choy, Boysenberries, Cauliflower, Celery, Cherries, Green Garlic, Lemons, Mustard, Nectarines, Peaches, Peas, Plums, Pluots, Radicchio, Raspberries, Rhubarb, Shallots, Squash Summer, Strawberries, Walnuts

 

June - Apricots, Artichokes, Arugula, Asparagus, Basil, Blackberries, Blueberries, Bok Choy, Boysenberries, Cauliflower, Celery, Cherries, Corn, Cress, Cucumbers, Green Garlic, Melons, Mustard, Nectarines, Okra, Peas, Peaches, Plums, Pluots, Radicchio, Raspberries, Rhubarb, Shallots, Summer Squash, Strawberries, Tomatillos, Tomatoes, Walnuts 

July - Apricots, Arugula, Asian Pears, Basil, Blackberries, Blueberries, Cherries, Corn, Cress, Cucumbers, Eggplant, Grapes, Melons, Mustard, Nectarines, Okra, Peas, Peaches, Plums, Pluots, Peppers (Bell & Chili), Radicchio, Raspberries, Rhubarb, Shallots, Strawberries, Summer Squash, Tomatillos, Tomatoes 

 

August - Almonds, Apples, Arugula, Asian Pears, Basil, Blackberries, Celery, Corn, Cress, Cucumbers, Eggplant, Figs, Grapes, Melons, Mulberries, Mustard, Nectarines, Okra, Peaches, Pears, Peas, Peppers (Bell & Chili), Plums, Pluots, Pomegranates, Raspberries, Rhubarb, Shallots, Strawberries, Summer Squash, Tomatillos, Tomatoes

 

September - Almonds, Apples, Artichokes, Arugula, Asian Pears, Basil, Blackberries, Bok Choy, Brussels Sprouts, Cauliflower, Celery, Corn Cress, Cucumbers, Dates, Eggplant, Figs, Grapefruit, Grapes, Kiwi, Melons, Mustard, Nectarines, Okra, Olives, Peaches, Pears, Peas, Peppers (Bell&Chili), Persimmions, Pistachios, Plums, Pluots, Radicchio, Raspberries, Rhubarb, Shallots, Strawberries, Summer Squash, Sunchokes, Sweet Potatoes, Tomatillos, Tomatoes, Turnips

 

October - Almonds, Apples, Artichokes, Arugula, Asian Pears, Basil, Bok Choy, Brussels Sprouts, Cauliflower, Celery, Chestnuts, Corn, Cress, Cucumbers, Dates, Eggplant, Figs, Grapefruit, Kiwi, Kumquats, Limes, Melons, Mustard, Okra, Olives, Nectarines, Parsnips, Peaches, Pears, Peas, Peppers (Bell & Chili), Persimmons, Plums, Pomegranates, Radicchio, Rhubarb, Raspberries, Rhubarb, Rutabaga, Shallots, Strawberries, Squash Winter, Sunchokes, Sweet Potatoes, Tomatillos, Tomatoes, Turnips,

November - Almonds, Apples, Artichokes, Arugula, Asian Pears, Bok Choy, Brussels Sprouts, Cauliflower, Celery, Chestnuts, Corn, Cress, Cucumbers, Dates, Figs, Grapefruit, Grapes, Guavas, Kiwi, Kumquats, Limes, Mandarins, Melons, Okra, Olives, Parsnips, Pears, Peas, Peppers (Bell & Chili), Radicchio, Rhubarb, Rutabaga, Winter Squash, Sunchokes, Sweet Potatoes, Tomatillos, Tomatoes, Turnips

 

December - Artichokes, Bok Choy, Brussels Sprouts, Cauliflower, Celery, Chestnuts, Cress, Dates, Grapefruit, Grapes, Guavas, Kiwi, Limes, Mandarins, Parsnips, Pears, Peppers (Bell & Chili), Persimmions, Pomegranates, Pomelos, Radicchio, Rutabaga, Squash Winter, Sunchokes, Sweet Potatoes, Tangerines, Turnips, Walnuts

First Grown Up Attempt

When I was 11 I sewed my very first thing - an outfit, shorts and shirt - it was well, there are no words. I suppose I did a good job, except for the fact the fabric was TOTALLY early 90’s and I learned I didn’t have patience to sew. You have to find the fabric, cut out the pattern pieces then pin them to the fabric, then cut the fabric out, then sew, and well - it was too much. Until last month - I want a sewing machine I keep thinking about it, I go to Joanne Fabrics at least once a week, and LOVE it! For the past several months ever since I upgraded to a 17” laptop I CANNOT find a bag that is the right size, well, I take that back, I can find the right size, I just can’t find a non-mannish looking one that doesn’t come in a LARGE carryon version. So, I decided to make one on my own. So this past weekend, I went and bought fabric, and in the next few weeks when I get the time to go over to our wonderful neighbors house who is so kindly helping me alter a bag pattern and let me borrow her sewing machine I will have a new laptop bag!

 

So here is the fabric for my first grown up sewing experiment experience!

The top print is for the outside.

The pink quilters bottom, the lining.

The black quilters bottom, the sides-bottom-strap.

They also had there ‘jewelry’ notions on sale for buy one and get one - so I’m planning on putting them outside in a corner kinda clumped haphazardly grouped nicely together on the bottom corner.

 

I’m so ridiculously excited about this project!

It’s That Time, Again

In the next couple of weeks Mr. B will be heading off on jobs that will take him away from home for quite awhile (anywhere between 3-12 months). During these times when Mr. B is away my friends lovingly refer to me as ‘The Single Married Cat Lady’.

Truth is I have lots of mixed feelings when my husband goes out of town for his long jobs.

Part of me hates it, I always cry when he leaves - because I hate being alone, and I know it will be awhile before I see him - which consists of me earning vacation time and flying out or him being able to get away for a couple of days to come home. My preference is for me to go out to where he is, and sometimes that takes awhile to accomplish. This year he’s going out east to a few jobs and then down to Louisiana, for a couple of jobs.

Part of me enjoys him being gone… (might not be the right wording). I do enjoy the first week - I enjoy the extra space in the bed, the opportunity to have ‘my own’ schedule, I’m able to get the house spotless, decorate, read, etc. But, I miss him. I miss him coming home, I miss watching movies/TV together, I miss playing games together, motorcycle rides, etc.

A part of me likes it when he leaves for a while, but after a week of it I want him back home. I just have to find things to keep me busy – little projects, photo opportunities, work, friends, decorating my house, learning, study, etc. I am thankful that we can talk and email back and forth that is a blessing – it’s better than not being able to talk to him. I am thankful that I know he is safe and not in danger – that is a great comfort, but it’s still hard.

I now have the responsibility of taking care of the tank whilst Mr.B is away – I don’t know what I was thinking when we bought it, probably that he would always be around to take care of it, but now it has fallen to my duty to do so once he is away. I’m sure  I can handle it – but every since I was young I would much rather enjoy the efforts of someone else, rather than have to do the ‘work’ part. But I’m learning now that I’m a quarter century old – that sometimes the work is fun, never in a million years would I ever think I would hear myself say that.

I need to email our landlady sometime soon about digging up the yard to put a garden in, before it gets too late to do so. I want to grow my own veggies – I think it would be therapeutic and a hobby that can’t be a bad one to learn. Along those same lines, I want a sewing machine, there cannot be anything bad with having one right? I’m sure it will always be a good thing to have and know how to do. There are so many things I wish I would have listened and learned from my very talented mother.

So here I am trying to prepare myself mentally for the departure of my husband for who knows how long, and I have a list a mile (literally) long of things I want to do within the next couple of months, which can be found on my next Thursday Thoughts/To-Dos post.

All Over The Place

Goodness, it's been a month?!  (Not quite, but close enough). Where have I been and what have I been doing? Lets dig into this past month....

February 4th I left for my parents place with a friend from the ward... we went because I needed new brakes on the car. If you think about it it's kinda humorous... driving over Donners pass in the winter during a storm without brakes. We got there okay and had a blast! We went out to the middle of nowhere to see a two headed cow, albino porcupine, fox, weasel... all sorts of strange animals who live in the 'halls' at the bar in Jiggs - it is the only 'store' besides a school and a gas station in the whole town. We played games and just enjoyed each others company, I love being at home with my family. I wish I lived closer to them.....

After arriving back to California on the following Sunday (8th) I needed to finish up my homework that I had for my Photo 101 class for that week via Nicoles Classes which are fantastic. I have since finished up 101 and signed up to take 102 which begins the first week of March. I really wish I had taken a picture before and after the classes so I could show you the difference. This class was one of the best things I've done lately. I have noticed myself kinda getting into a 'life rut' not sure what else to call it. Get up go to work come home clean be with Mr. B go to bed get up... (hopefully you get the picture).

There hasn't been any learning or growth on my part I feel. After admiring some beautiful work done by some photographers that I have enjoyed looking at for the past year or two (Nicole Photo, Bobbi + Mike, Joyce Smith, Savor Photography, The Image Is Found, Jamie Delaine, just to name a few...) I thought I would give it a try myself. So last February I started learning about and taking pictures of everything with my point and shoot - I got into photoshop a little and was enjoying taking classes in that, and realized how much better would the pictures be to see take them in that great quality and have to spend little or no time post-processing them? So I saved up my nickels, quarters, dollar bills, and bought me my entry level DSLR, the T1i - it's not a big mamma or a super high end camera, but it's fantastic quality and has given me something to learn with, and take images that I'm proud of. It was around this time that I saw Nicole Hills spot on Studio 5 and recognized that I have been reading her blog and loving all her images and I found that she was teaching classes in SF and how could I say no when I was so close! So I did. I took the plunge. I love what I have learned (so so much in such a short time) but not only have they taught me how to fully use my camera and different techniques they have inspired me to want to continue to learn, delve into, and take more classes and shoot more images. I'm so glad I got out of my little bubble took the trek into the city by myself (even though I was terrified) and have found something to help get me out of the rut of life I feel like I have been in since returning from my mission.

I came home and got married and moved to the West coast and just been living. I haven't shot competitively like I used to and just felt like something was missing, and was finding something to replace it, and I know I'll never be able to replace my love for shooting but taking pictures and learning about photography sure has filled that void and given me something to be excited about. So in March I begin Photo 102 which is mainly about lighting techniques and etc. I'm looking forward to it and being busy again in March.

February was such a busy month with homework, audits at the offices I do the managing for, church, family, etc. I have a feeling March will be the same but I'm enjoying it completely. I went to dinner with the girls again finally, it had been way to long since seeing them - it was enjoyable. Before dinner with the ladies, I usually find myself at the bookstore walking, browsing, writing, observing for a couple of hours before meeting them. I enjoy this time greatly, it helps me wind down, put things into perspective, think, and just be. I wrote this on the 15th while waiting to meet for dinner:

"From where I'm sitting I can see the literature sign hanging from the ceiling where it sways gently with the movement of the air circulation in the store. In this section where I find myself sitting about once a month (maybe more) there are book titles from: "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime" by Mark Haddon, which the back cover says it's something about... actually the back cover doesn't say anything, but after reading the first few pages I think it's worth having and should come back in later to pick up. Across the aisle are some end cap displays for some true crime books that I used to read religiously, but find myself gravitating more to either light romantic comedies or non-fiction (I never thought I would say that, ever.) I usually end up in the bookstore to think. I spend an hour or so wandering around, and then I find a spot to people watch and think. It always amazes me the way people are. There was one dad who was standing to the side of the bookcase watching his two sons tear apart the stuffed animal/puppet display. At first my thought was what kind of parent - then I took a step back (I started to use this first for application in photography, but more recently have started applying it to all my thoughts and mostly judgments it's so easy to get in a habit of judging others and I'm trying to remove that habit from my life) but I digress.... I took a step back and really looked at the dad. He looked tired and saddened as he stood there watching his two boys smile and laugh as they played with those puppets. The my mind started wander: did he just loose his job and was worrying if/how he could support them and give them happy times to remember? did someone close to him pass away? perhaps their mother? My mind ran through so many scenarios and realized there is no room for judgment in my life - only optimism, hope, joy, and looking for the best in every situation."

I should have learned this lesson from a situation that I found myself in in 6th grade where the children (including myself) were making fun of our math teacher. I don't remember what we said, I do however remember the sadness in his eyes that day. I didn't realize the full impact of it until I overheard him speaking to another of how his wife just passed away from cancer, he lost his house because of the medical bills and had been living out of his car. I was only 13 years old but I can still remember exactly how small I felt, I can still feel the tears that softly landed on my cheeks as I felt the shame and sadness for making fun of him. I wanted to go apologize but was too scared. Since then I have always tried to think twice, not judge, but try to be loving and understanding even of situations if I didn't know what they were.

NaBloPoMo Take Two

Here we go again, something in my crazy little brain decided to try doing NaBloPoMo, yet again (even though we know how well I did last year). So here it is the first of November? Really, the first? This is just insane. I feel I haven't done anything this year I wanted to accomplish. I was so set on 2009 being MY year, and yet again it's turned into another everyone else year. Oh well, there's always 2010, 2011, 2012...etc. Ha! So here's to take 2 and hopefully a more interesting fun fact-filled blog about myself and my life! Happy November everyone!

Super Sabbath

What a great day! Douglas & I woke up in time to get ready, have breakfast, and walk to church. Sacrament service was excellent. A lot of the talks were on family unity - and I thought it was beautiful. I was asked to stay in the nursery which was enjoyable, lots of little kids and they were all so super adorable in their own little ways. This one little girl, Kit-Kat {adorable nick-name}, was drinking milk out of a sippy cup - no one knew where it had come from. When asked if it was hers this was her response, "Of course, cause it's tasty!" Ha! So cute, so stinkin' cute. Right after sacrament meeting the Relief Society President pulled me aside to ask if I would be willing to do the Relief Society newsletter - wow, that I think is more overwhelming than the primary pianist, which they let me know today that they really missed me, made me feel great - I loved it in there. So you are looking at the new newsletter designer. I really am strongly considering going to online school for graphic design/digital imaging. I really, really love it.

So back to the whole family unity thing. Ever since we've been married I have wanted to have a family mission statement and after reading a post on Simple Mom, I think I'm going to work this week on putting one together. After I get it done and Douglas and I 'edit' it I will use a fun font and have it printed 8x10 or maybe bigger then mat and frame it and hang it in our living room. I'm very excited for this. And even though we won't be able to do it in the 2-6 hours I'm sure we can get it done by August {that's my goal anyway}. This will be a short week as I leave for a family reunion on Thursday! I'm so excited! It will be a good opportunity to get some shots that I can edit and post. Have a wonderful week!

Am I Still Breathing?

We've been so busy lately it seems I need to remind myself to breathe. Since the beginning of May we have been actively searching for a home to purchase. Meeting with Lenders talking to Banks - looking at homes, peeking in windows, trying to fathom the crazy things people do to their homes and if we can fix it {or if it is worth fixing}. Saying our goodbyes to our ward, friends, and people we know in the area.

We were focusing on living somewhere in the Sierras but have decided on a cute little town here in Nor Cal, which we are excited about.

We are in our lease until the end of next February, so we have to figure out when our new move out day will be so our landlord can show the property to future tenants. I wish we could just give a 30 day notice - maybe we can. I would rather do that then set a date, say we give a formal 'lease breaking' letter saying we will be moving out August 1 - and we don't find anything or closing escrow by then, or end up not purchasing a home right now? Then where would we live? I know it will all work out it is just a new unknown process that is very exciting but equally frightening at the same time.

Douglas new shift hours are 7am - 7pm and he leaves at 6 and gets home at around 8 so I hardly see him but for a couple hours at night {don't get me wrong this is much better than not seeing him at all}. Our weekends have been jammed with Baseball games, house hunting, driving, and when we can laundry. So we are both completely exhausted all the time and hopefully when all this is said and done it will all be worth it. Considering after we move I will be changing my work hours {keep fingers crossed} from 5 eight hour days to 4 ten hour days and I will also be adding a new 2 hour drive to work and a 2 hour drive home... so I will be away from our new home from 5am - 7pm. But I will have 3 day weekends every weekend.

But we are around and we are alive... just very very busy - so I'm warning you now there probably will be very little updating for awhile at least until we find a new place or something major happens in our lives....

Schedule, Me? Really? Yes, Really.

One of those weeks, it's going to be I can just feel it {that sounded a little yoda-ish}! Minnie is running around the house like a mad-woman meowing for no reason... anyway. I've sketched out a new {more permanent} blog design, I've got to get to work on it. So it will be on it's way soon. The only thing I wanted to accomplish this weekend was writing in my planner my schedule, yes I do need to treat myself like a toddler in order to accomplish anything. So I figure if I post it for the whole world to see maybe {just maybe} I will be able to stick with it. So here it goes:

5:00am - Wake up, say prayers
5:10am - Stretch and Run for 30 mins
5:40am - Eat Breakfast, Get Ready
6:15am - Leave for Work

7:00am - Work
9:00am - Practice Piano for 15 min break
10:00am - Snack {Fruit/Cheese}
11:00am - Lunch {Fish/Chicken, Veggies}
1:00pm - Snack {Crackers/Cheese}
3:30pm - Leave Work

4:15pm - Chiropractor Appointment {Tuesdays/Thursdays}
5:00pm - Pilates for 40min
5:40pm - Clean according to daily schedule
6:00pm - Watch TV
7:30pm - Cook Dinner {Wednesday Nights Yoga for an 1.5 hours}
8:30pm - Watch Movie/Play Games with Husband
9:30pm - Read Book, Read Scriptures, Prayers, Bed
11:00pm - Bed Time

There is my rough schedule outline. I also need to cram in there some photo editing/photography class/blogging/picture taking time. Look for the new blog design by Sunday night! Have a great beginning of the week!

On My Mind

A lot has been on my mind lately in the sense of what can I do to clean up my life and help those around me? Christ was always in service to those around Him, how can I follow in that footstep? Be it small or big I want to give, my heart feels the need to give I just need to figure out how. Another blog I read, the author, has created a website which you can link to from the sidebar as well called HandsIn. This website is for all those mid-20 aged people who want to help or want to start. I think this is a great idea. As it has just started there aren't a lot of people but I am excited to follow this group and begin my life in service - even if it just means my husband, family, friends, or a stranger on the street. I want to help others.

Cleaning up my life? That's another topic. I watch a lot of TV, I'll admit it, I know it's not the best thing to do with my time but I do it and I enjoy it - I just need to tone it down a little. I haven't read in centuries and need to pick up a book and go to the park, go for a walk, organize a closet, things I haven't had time to do because I'm wasting it somewhere else. I came across a great talk from the 1993 Liahona by Elder Costa of the Seventy, "Fun and Happiness" here are a couple of excerpts that I love and have inspired me to do more of the things that bring happiness and fewer that are fun (I'm not completely giving up fun things - I just need a little less of them)

An old friend of mine came to me and asked what I had found so different there (LDS church). I answered, "I have found true happiness." To which he replied, "There is no such thing as true happiness-only happy moments". I understand that my good friend did not know the difference between fun and happiness. What he called "happy moments" were in fact the moments when he had fun. What he did not know then was that happiness is much more than just fun. Fun is just a fleeting moment, but happiness is a lasting thing.

In Luke, chapter 15, we find the parable of the prodigal son. In this parable, the younger son asks the father to give him his share of the inheritance. The father does so, and this young man goes out into the world, seeking what he believes to be true happiness. He starts to have fun, and for as long as he has money, he lives surrounded by many people who claim to be his friends. When his fortune is totally wasted with all the fun he has had with his so-called friends, all of them turn their backs on him, and he is left without a penny. He then goes through much suffering and disappointment. He starts working for a man feeding swine, and, starving, he tries to eat even the husks that the swine would eat. He thinks of his father's servants, who have enough bread to eat and to spare, and he does not have anything to eat. He decides to return home to his father and ask him for a job as one of his hired servants. He returns, repentant from all he has done, and his father, a righteous man, greets hime as a special son. He finally understands that true happiness is there, in that simple life with his family.

As we keep His commandments, we are blessed and come to know true happiness. We learn that happiness lies in doing small things that building us up, that increase our faith and testimony. Small things we do in our everyday lives, such as: Prayer, Feeling the Spirit, Being with Family. 2 Nephi 2:25

My favorite verse on this topic is Mosiah 2:41: "And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell wit God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; fro the Lord God hath spoken it."

What am I going to clean up?

Less TV time, more scripture time.
Less friend time, more husband time.
Less movie time, more piano time.
Less me time, more time for others.

What are you going to do to find the true happiness in your life?

Lo-Jack?

Yes I know this is the second post today but I really need to find some form of Lo-Jack that I can put on everything I MEAN EVERYTHING I own! So far today I have lost, lets see, my camera - my watch - 3 pair of earrings.... It's getting out of hand, have I always been like this?

If anyone knows where these items are please let me know.

New goal... stop losing things.

101 in 1001

My list of things to do in 1001 days.

Start February 1, 2009
End October 28, 2011

In Progress Finished

FOR MY HEALTH
001. Lose 120 pounds (112 to go)
002. Take a multivitamin daily
003. Workout 30 minutes a day at least 5 days a week
004. Start moisturizing daily
005. Drink 8 8oz glasses of water daily
006. Whiten teeth
007. Find a family doctor
008. Run a 5K
009. Find a family dentist
010. Sign up for a yoga class at studio

FOR MY LOVE/FAMILY:
011. Buy and play 5 PS3 games with the Hubs (3/5)
-Guitar Hero World Tour
-Guitar Hero Smash Hits
-Guitar Hero 5
012. Hold weekly family home evening (0/52)
013. See on new movie in the theater every month for a year (5/12)
014. Start a weekly game night
015. Go to a theme park
016. Have a couple's self portrait made
017. Tell someone I love them when I'm mad at them
018. Write 20 hand written letters to show I care (0/20)
019. Send flowers to 2 people just because (0/2)
020. Go camping
021. Have date night once a month for a year (1/12)
-October 21, 2009 Dinner and Bishops Storehouse
022. Give Hubs a foot rub
023. Go to a drive in movie
024. Bake Hubs Cheesecake for his birthday
025. Go to 3 NFL games (0/3)
026. Try a fondue restaurant
027. Spend a whole day in bed with the Hubs
028. Have monthly dinner/bowling night (0/12)
029. Visit family in NV at least twice a year (3/6)
- July 16th - 20th
- August 21st - 24th
- November 20th - 29th

FOR MY COMMUNITY:
030. Begin recycling
031. Volunteer for 50 hours (0/50)
032. Do a giveaway on my blog
033. Clean out my stuff and donate to DI once a month (6/12)
034. Buy a homeless person a meal
035. Compliment 20 people for no reason (0/20)
036. Adopt another cat
037. Get Paper Bags at the grocery store
038. Discover 30 new blogs (33/30)
- See Blogroll
039. Participate in town activities once a month (0/12)

BECAUSE I HAVE TO:
040. Buy a pair of Manolo Blahniks
041. Change Blog Header Monthly (3/12)
042. Buy new Bedroom Furniture Set
043. Become a Mom
044. Get a Smart Phone
045. Join a Gun Range
046. Sing Karaoke
047. Wash car once a month for 6 months (2/6)
048. Buy a flower and 'Eagles' decal for car
049. Transfer VHS's to DVD's
050. Get a current passport
051. Buy a motorcycle clothing
052. Buy an original painting for the living room
053. Clean whole house weekly (0/52)
054. Go to New York

FOR MY MIND/SANITY:
055. Join a book club
056. Read 200 books
057. Go back to school
058. Start a small flower/herb garden
059. Learn Spanish
060. Go to a museum
061. Go to a zoo
062. Take 3 spontaneous road trips (2/3)
*Los Angeles
*Nevada
063. Go one week without saying anything negative (0/7)
064. Keep a dream diary for one month (0/30)
065. Learn to knit
066. Learn to play the organ
067. Knit 10 things (0/10)
068. Read in the park once a week (0/52)
069. Begin a novel (write at least 50 pages) (1/50)
070. Unsubscribe and delete useless internet accounts

FOR MY WALLET:
071. Pay off credit card
072. Save $15,000 ($1900)
073. Make and stick to budget
074. Cut eating out to once a week
075. Only buy two cases of soda a week (Hubs and Mine)

FOR MY SOUL/SPIRIT:
076. Get a pedicure
077. Read scriptures daily
078. Write in journal weekly
079. Take the typical European tour
080. Make an actual cookbook of our recipes
081. Finish a scrapbook
082. Only watch 2 hours of TV per day
083. Take a candle lit bubble bath one a month for a year (0/12)
084. Go fishing
085. Take a ballroom dance class
086. Scan all photos into computer
087. Go to 5 Theater Plays (0/5)
088. Watch the sun set 10 times (0/10)
089. Have a girls' night once a month for a year (9/12)
090. Bake one thing a month for a year (0/12)
091. Go to 5 concerts (1/5)
- Jeff Dunham
092. Try 10 new random restaurants (0/10)
093. Cook dinner nightly for two weeks (3/14)
094. Hike to the top of a mountain
095. Discover 5 new bands/artists that I like (3/5)
1. Secondhand Serenade
2. Tokio Hotel
3. Plumb

096. Take a picture everyday for a month (0/30)
097. Attend church every Sunday for a year (40/52)
098. Attend Enrichment monthly (1/12)
099. Go to Temple monthly (4/12)
100. Do my visiting teaching monthly (5/12)
101. Learn to meditate and do it weekly (0/52)

My New Fascination

I'm know I'm not very good at this and don't have a very good camera for it, but I really enjoy taking pictures but mostly editing them. I'm still learning, but here are a couple of photos I have played with in my new little hobby.

Upcoming Year

What have I accomplished this year from the 'resolutions' I have set? As you can see, we really didn't accomplish anything on our lists. We did get better with family prayer but the others haven't happened. This year I have decided to focus on one thing personally and one thing as a family *as I have a HUGE tendency to overwhelm myself with the little things - til they get so piled up I just ignore them*. My personal thing that I have pondered and prayed about is to remove everything from my life *little by little* that doesn't uplift me, help me to become a better person, teach me, or doesn't invite the spirit to participate in. Douglas and I still haven't thought about our family goal for the year and his personal one, maybe that will be our FHE this evening. I'm looking forward to the New Year and believe that it will bring grand and wonderful changes into our lives. I have a Christmas post coming this evening (with video!) and re-designing it for the winter months.

Ending of January

As I re-evaluate my goals that I had for January, I realized it was mainly preparing for the upcoming months and establishing myself into a good pattern that is flexible and doable no matter where I am or what I am doing. I thoroughly cleaned my house I have been cooking dinner almost every night (what a money saver!). On top of that I have set a pattern of getting up taking my pills getting ready and packing a lunch, things that I had never really done before. I will be adding different things into the mix as the months go by such as; journaling at least once a week, reading at least 1 hour daily for fun, studying my scriptures more, yoga 3-4 times a week, listening to talk radio. Different things that I want to do to better myself. So in February I will add 4 things to my "self improvement plan":

1. No Soda Pop
2. Read scriptures at least 15 minutes per day.
3. Do Yoga 3x a week
4. Eat 5 servings of fruits and vegtables.

If anyone wants to hold me accountable please do, I welcome it. Mr. B came home almost a week ago, oh how that makes me incredibly happy! He will be home for at least a few weeks before he has to go off to New Orleans for a while, and after being offered weekends of fishing at one my dearest friends lake house, he has become excited about leaving, it's been awhile since he has been fishing. I will miss him when he is gone. Last night he had a work party for his VP's birthday and we went to this beautiful little Mexican Restaurant that sat on the water at the Bay. As we were sitting there his old PM came up, she's this cute little Filipino lady, and mentioned that she was trying to rent out her house. And we asked her where it was and how much, and needless to say, I am very excited about this prospect, the thing is we would need to move in on the 1st of March and we are in a lease until the 30th of May, so we have to see how much it costs to cancel our lease and the process and see if it would even be worth it, or just staying where we are, I'm having mixed feelings on the whole thing right now, even though before I was very excited. So tonight Mr. B and I will have to make a PRO/CON list and see what we come up with.

Mr. B Returns Home

As a new year unfolds and the first month is almost over, where do we all stand in our convictions that we made to ourselves at the beginning of the year? As a family goal it is to say family prayer and read our scriptures daily, as well as to attend the temple at least once a month together as husband and wife and twice as individuals. I personally want to establish a "motto" for our family and a theme that will help us and our children (one day) grow closer to our Father in Heaven. Something we can teach in the home and have. I had some companions on my mission that gave me some pretty good ideas in this area and we will have to see what we come up with.

It is so nice having Mr. B home again even if it is just for 3 weeks. He will then travel to New Orleans, Louisiana for at least 6 weeks. And hopefully as soon as the job at the San Pablo dam starts they will pull him off of the Louisiana job and bring him home. That job is supposed to last for quite some time, it will be nice to actually be a "family" again. He is happy to be home where it isn't so cold and he can grow face hair again. We are both enjoying our jobs and enjoying each other being home even more! I have my knee surgery in a couple of weeks so I'm even more glad that he will be home to help me out a little. It will be nice to have a little break from work though, although I hope I won't be that bored.

I am enjoying being in the young womens presidency we really have some great girls and I look forward to spending time with them. I need to really do my visiting teaching although I'm not quite sure how as I've never done it before. I am also without a companion so we will see how this will go. I will probably give them both a call tomorrow just to say hello and introduce myself and see if there is anything I can do for them. But I will not do my visiting teaching by the phone, I think that's cheating in my mind. I was also asked to sing a solo in church they really want me to but I am scarred out of my mind and don't think I'll do that good of a job. Douglas tells me that everyone disagrees with me so maybe I'll give a try, nothing better than getting over your fears except by just doing it. Mr. B received his Home Teaching list yesterday and is excited about that.

Nothing much to say except my husband is home, and for that I am very grateful!

Brand New Year

Dear Family & Friends,

It is time for a brand new year to start, new goals to make, new things to accomplish. I love this time of year to really sit and evaluate where I/We are and where we want to go and how to go about getting there. This past year has held many wonderful events for us; moving into our first apartment, visiting loved ones, the Sealing of Mr. B and myself, surpassing the one year of marriage mark, new jobs, new friends, and new life experiences. In this upcoming year we hope to purchase a house and go back to school. We hope to take a cruise towards the latter part of the year as well as go to Disney and some other things. We are very much looking forward to 2008!

Mr. B is still currently in Colorado freezing his tail off but loving every minute of it. He believes that job will be done before February. And who knows where he will go from there. (Hopefully home). My Christmas dinner turned out pretty good if I do say so myself, just as a funny story I took the ham out and was so excited that I didn't overcook it and that it wasn't burnt or anything, and Douglas was bummed that it wasn't burnt! He likes the crispy outsides. So I finally think I did a great thing by not burning the dinner and I should have! He had a very great Christmas as did I.

I am doing well loving every minute of my job as well, even though it makes me want to scream sometimes. But I love everyone that I work with and I love what I do. I don't have much to say about myself other than that because basically I don't do anything. I have a few personal resolutions which I will be doing, but this year I believe that I will be doing a yearly "month at a time" type of resolution, commit to a month, do it, evaluate it at the end, and revamp or whatnot and commit the the next month and so on. I think that this break down will be a lot easier to keep up with.

We hope everyone had a great and wonderful holiday season and a wonderful start of the New Year! I will be posting a couple of pictures this evening when I get home from work, so be sure to check back.

Gloomy Day

Here I sit with a half finished stack of papers on one side of the desk and a Bid Project on the other, both need to be completed...but the window behind me is telling me it's time to go home grab a blanket and a book and read. I love the rain and I absolutly love this weather, I just think I liked it more when I didn't have to be behind a desk... :/ Mr. B comes home on Thursday, I am very excited about that! YAY for husbands who come home :). I don't know why but I have a thing with the "keyboard smilies" I make them all the time, oh well. WW is going great, I feel better, I'm extremly tired but that's understandable. I totally forgot that today I am babysitting my cousins boys

Bennett

and....

Braxten

They are the most adorable little boys. Braxton calls me "Amburger" which isn't the first time I have gotten that. I absolutly love both of them. Bennett is 7 months and Braxton is 2.5. Thier mom is pregnant again with a little girl and she is due in February of 2008 so that would make MiaBella (the new baby) and Bennett 1 year apart. She has the same due with with Mia as she did with Bennett, just one year later. I can't wait! So anyway.... I totally forgot that they were coming and I need to vaccum and pick up a little bit, so I'm hoping I can sneak out of here a bit early, they are planning to meet me at my house at 1600, which is when I get home... so we'll see how it goes, maybe I'll just clean while they are there. If you can't tell I am excited. Nothing else new is going on, except for the weather is starting to cool off and I'm ready to get all bundled up! I lost a little over 2 pounds in a day! That's SUPER exciting.

My Goals:

SW: 234

EW: 115

Halloween: 225

Start New Year: 199.

What I wouldn't give to be in the 100's at the beginning of the new year! I know I can do it, it's just a matter of self-discipline. Well, off to finish these piles, at least before I go to lunch in an hour!