All Over The Place

Goodness, it's been a month?!  (Not quite, but close enough). Where have I been and what have I been doing? Lets dig into this past month....

February 4th I left for my parents place with a friend from the ward... we went because I needed new brakes on the car. If you think about it it's kinda humorous... driving over Donners pass in the winter during a storm without brakes. We got there okay and had a blast! We went out to the middle of nowhere to see a two headed cow, albino porcupine, fox, weasel... all sorts of strange animals who live in the 'halls' at the bar in Jiggs - it is the only 'store' besides a school and a gas station in the whole town. We played games and just enjoyed each others company, I love being at home with my family. I wish I lived closer to them.....

After arriving back to California on the following Sunday (8th) I needed to finish up my homework that I had for my Photo 101 class for that week via Nicoles Classes which are fantastic. I have since finished up 101 and signed up to take 102 which begins the first week of March. I really wish I had taken a picture before and after the classes so I could show you the difference. This class was one of the best things I've done lately. I have noticed myself kinda getting into a 'life rut' not sure what else to call it. Get up go to work come home clean be with Mr. B go to bed get up... (hopefully you get the picture).

There hasn't been any learning or growth on my part I feel. After admiring some beautiful work done by some photographers that I have enjoyed looking at for the past year or two (Nicole Photo, Bobbi + Mike, Joyce Smith, Savor Photography, The Image Is Found, Jamie Delaine, just to name a few...) I thought I would give it a try myself. So last February I started learning about and taking pictures of everything with my point and shoot - I got into photoshop a little and was enjoying taking classes in that, and realized how much better would the pictures be to see take them in that great quality and have to spend little or no time post-processing them? So I saved up my nickels, quarters, dollar bills, and bought me my entry level DSLR, the T1i - it's not a big mamma or a super high end camera, but it's fantastic quality and has given me something to learn with, and take images that I'm proud of. It was around this time that I saw Nicole Hills spot on Studio 5 and recognized that I have been reading her blog and loving all her images and I found that she was teaching classes in SF and how could I say no when I was so close! So I did. I took the plunge. I love what I have learned (so so much in such a short time) but not only have they taught me how to fully use my camera and different techniques they have inspired me to want to continue to learn, delve into, and take more classes and shoot more images. I'm so glad I got out of my little bubble took the trek into the city by myself (even though I was terrified) and have found something to help get me out of the rut of life I feel like I have been in since returning from my mission.

I came home and got married and moved to the West coast and just been living. I haven't shot competitively like I used to and just felt like something was missing, and was finding something to replace it, and I know I'll never be able to replace my love for shooting but taking pictures and learning about photography sure has filled that void and given me something to be excited about. So in March I begin Photo 102 which is mainly about lighting techniques and etc. I'm looking forward to it and being busy again in March.

February was such a busy month with homework, audits at the offices I do the managing for, church, family, etc. I have a feeling March will be the same but I'm enjoying it completely. I went to dinner with the girls again finally, it had been way to long since seeing them - it was enjoyable. Before dinner with the ladies, I usually find myself at the bookstore walking, browsing, writing, observing for a couple of hours before meeting them. I enjoy this time greatly, it helps me wind down, put things into perspective, think, and just be. I wrote this on the 15th while waiting to meet for dinner:

"From where I'm sitting I can see the literature sign hanging from the ceiling where it sways gently with the movement of the air circulation in the store. In this section where I find myself sitting about once a month (maybe more) there are book titles from: "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime" by Mark Haddon, which the back cover says it's something about... actually the back cover doesn't say anything, but after reading the first few pages I think it's worth having and should come back in later to pick up. Across the aisle are some end cap displays for some true crime books that I used to read religiously, but find myself gravitating more to either light romantic comedies or non-fiction (I never thought I would say that, ever.) I usually end up in the bookstore to think. I spend an hour or so wandering around, and then I find a spot to people watch and think. It always amazes me the way people are. There was one dad who was standing to the side of the bookcase watching his two sons tear apart the stuffed animal/puppet display. At first my thought was what kind of parent - then I took a step back (I started to use this first for application in photography, but more recently have started applying it to all my thoughts and mostly judgments it's so easy to get in a habit of judging others and I'm trying to remove that habit from my life) but I digress.... I took a step back and really looked at the dad. He looked tired and saddened as he stood there watching his two boys smile and laugh as they played with those puppets. The my mind started wander: did he just loose his job and was worrying if/how he could support them and give them happy times to remember? did someone close to him pass away? perhaps their mother? My mind ran through so many scenarios and realized there is no room for judgment in my life - only optimism, hope, joy, and looking for the best in every situation."

I should have learned this lesson from a situation that I found myself in in 6th grade where the children (including myself) were making fun of our math teacher. I don't remember what we said, I do however remember the sadness in his eyes that day. I didn't realize the full impact of it until I overheard him speaking to another of how his wife just passed away from cancer, he lost his house because of the medical bills and had been living out of his car. I was only 13 years old but I can still remember exactly how small I felt, I can still feel the tears that softly landed on my cheeks as I felt the shame and sadness for making fun of him. I wanted to go apologize but was too scared. Since then I have always tried to think twice, not judge, but try to be loving and understanding even of situations if I didn't know what they were.