.becoming active.

 

 

 

The title doesn’t really narrow anything down. I’ve been trying to write this post since December maybe? It has been toiling in my mind. The words spinning into circles not forming anything that made even a tiny bit of sense. I’ve been staring at this cursor blinking at me ever since I changed into my PJ’s after church and sat down at the computer. I’ve been ‘planning’ on becoming more active in all aspects of my life for a few months, but haven’t actual done the ‘active’ part, and it’s about time that that changes.

I’ve sat here tonight and accomplished pretty much everything that was on my plan last week, and wrote my new plan for next week.

I want to be more active in my life. Find and do those things that I love. Start loving my life, but more importantly – start living my life. I’ve lost about 40 pounds in the past year. Yes, that’s a good weight loss. No, it’s not as good as it could have been had I even applied myself with an ounce of the planning and preparing that I do/did.

I want to wake up and be perfect tomorrow but I know that isn’t going to happen – it’s only going to happen after many days, months, and years of applying myself & dedicating myself to myself every minute of everyday.

I want to be active in church, attending every Sunday. Reading and Studying the Gospel everyday – studying for Sunday School and Relief Society so I can get the most out of each lesson.

I want to be active in my neighborhood, serving those around me. Getting to know them – to love them for the people they are. I’ve never really enjoyed service but moving into a very service oriented ward I’m finally getting a thirst for it.

I want to become more active in my life. I want my life to mean something.

I want everyday that I awake to be lived the the best that it can – either doing something that I love and enjoy or helping others do things they love and enjoy.

I commit to become active in my life. Do everything that I can to make each day amazing.

No to Excess, Yes to Self-Mastery

Ever since I was younger, I’ve never told myself no, EVER. I like to buy things, pretty things, fun things, whatever - and as sad as it is to admit, it’s true. I have no problem saying no to others, I do it all the time, except when it comes to myself the word “no” does not exist in my vocabulary. This needs to change, now. So June (I can’t believe it’s June already) is my month of no.

 

No to excuses

No to new toys

No to un-healthy foods

No to “I need it I think”

No to overspending

No to buying non-necessities

 

This month I will only buy items the are essential. I will only eat foods that are good fuel for my body. So I suppose I should change my “mantra” to No to Bad/Non-Essential and Yes to Good.

 

One of the leaders of our church, Kent D. Watson (Second Quorum of the Seventy) gave a great talk on this topic, at least I think it fits well. He says, “Likewise, a temperate soul—one who is humble and full of love—is also a person of increased spiritual strength. With increased spiritual strength, we are able to develop self-mastery and to live with moderation. We learn to control, or temper, our anger, vanity, and pride. With increased spiritual strength, we can protect ourselves from the dangerous excesses and destructive addictions of today’s world. We all seek peace of mind, and we all desire security and happiness for our families. If we look for silver linings in this past year’s economic downturn, perhaps the trials some have faced have taught us that peace of mind, security, and happiness do not come from buying a home or accumulating possessions for which the debt incurred is larger than our savings or income can afford. We live in an impatient and intemperate world full of uncertainty and contention. It is like the community of converts to various religions where Joseph Smith lived when he was a 14-year-old boy seeking answers to his questions. Young Joseph said, “All their good feelings one for another, if they ever had any, were entirely lost in a strife of words and a contest about opinions.” ⁷

Security for our families comes from learning self-control, avoiding the excesses of this world, and being temperate in all things. Peace of mind comes from strengthened faith in Jesus Christ.”

Be steady in our lives - with everything, we need not have the short, frenzied, outbursts of emotion, but the steady and tranquil dedication of a lifetime. I really want to work on this, this month. So in saying no to myself for the extras, I will be saying yes to developing my self-mastery and learning to live with moderation. The video below (the first 20m) is one that I want to listen to often and become that strong, steady righteous person.

 

 

By saying no, I want to become: The one who goes to bed at a decent hour each night to get enough rest to attend to my next day duties. The one who puts away the excess hobbies (whatever they may be)to focus on the needs of myself, and my family. The one who diligently attends Sunday meetings. The one who studies scriptures and journals every evening. I want the focus on my life to be on the good. While doing the excess (computer, video games, friends, television, movies, etc.) is okay - I want to re-align my priorities, to be that of putting my number one focus on pursuing the greatest self I can be, and on my Family and Faith, and the rest will fill in accordingly. Have you ever seen the rocks/sand demonstration? Steven Covey does a video of it, that is great, but this month I’m dumping out all of my stones, pebbles, and sand and re-organizing them!

 

Do not say, “When I am free I will pursue wisdom; For you will never be free”.

 

So here's to re-focusing, and re-prioritizing!

All We Need

Encouragement

So I spent the weekend thinking about what the word 'encouragement' meant to me, personally. I was brought back to a couple of weeks ago as I was flying home from the family reunion in Idaho I was staring out the window of the plane into the clouds watching through the spaces in them the earth beneath pass by. It was one of the most beautiful moments I have ever had. The hope that filled me from within as I was looking out the window was something I didn't want to forget. I haven't had the chance to journal down my thoughts and when I saw that today's blog hop was encouragement - what a perfect time.

I had my iPod on with my headphones in my ears - when these lyrics sang in my ears:

"It passes all my understanding,
All the beauty we have here
From the majesty of the canyons
To a tiny baby's ear
And even when I can't believe it,
He still believes in me
It passes all my understanding

We watched the sun set through the clouds
In a tiny little airplane window
With people sleeping all around
And I thought of how we just expect this world to be

It passes all my understanding,
That the Lord knows both our names
And that He made this world for everyone
That was sitting on that plane
And in spite of all of man's distractions
He offers us His peace
That passes all my understanding"

Our loving Father in Heaven gives us so much hope and peace. Having the knowledge the He lives makes my heart glow with warmth. The encouragement I felt while looking out my own aircraft window knowing that someone greater than us all created this beautiful world for us to live in to enjoy and to grow. Knowing that He sent His Son, our Savior Jesus Christ to die for us so we might return to live with Him and that we could overcome sin and temptation, is filled with hope that encourages me on a daily basis. I am thankful for this, and for being able to literally see His love and the hope He has for us that surrounds us when other things in this life seem to be falling apart everyday.

Why I Love My Birthday

If you know me you know that my birthday was on the 5th of this month (same as my aunt and 2 of my close friends, it's also shared by many I have come in contact with). I enjoy my birthday for the following reasons:

• Fall smells begin to tickle my nose: Cinnamon, Pumpkin, Pies, and my favorite the smell of fresh crisp cool air.
• I can open my windows and have that crisp air in my house and curl up with a cup of hot tea and a blanket.
• The skies are that cold gray, don't get me wrong I like the sun but I love the cool gray skies even better.
• It puts me in the mood to cook or rather to bake; pies, cakes, casseroles.
  

As you can see I love my birthdays for every reason besides that fact that it's my birthday. I don't know why I just have never been very fond of my birthdays. There is no particular reason, I just don't enjoy them. I turned 25 this year, I never thought I would be this "old". Where was I ten years ago? I was 15 getting my driving permit working at Dominos with the rest of the rifle team. I would drive my dads brand new F-150 home from work when he would pick me up from his job around 11pm at night. I had my "first" boyfriend (no the love triangle doesn't count, maybe I'll explain this in full detail for those of you that are still trying to figure it out), and was enjoying high school. I loved high school the friends and all the drama that went along with it. My siblings were 6 and 4 now they are 16 and 14 - I still can't believe they are that old. My brother can now go to dances and my sister can date. But this isn't about them it's about me. I wanted to be older than a "teenager who had so many rules" little did I know that now I have more rules. I thought I could sleep when I wanted, eat what I wanted, buy what I wanted, do what I wanted. Looking back now I had it better than I could've ever imagined. Now I have to do all the chores, go to work, wake up early, keep a budget, what was I thinking? Now that I'm 25 I have a few things I want to do this year that I feel if I don't do it now I never will. I will eat healthier, move more, and make memories every day so I don't have a lot of empty tomorrows.

I haven't had a chance to listen to conference yet but plan to do so this weekend. I'm excited about it, I really am. I bought the triple combination (Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price) at the book store and have been listening to it. So far I have listened to it for 3 days on my way to and from work. The exciting news is I am on the 27th chapter of 2nd Nephi, IN 3 DAYS! How amazing. The coolest part is I have learned so much by just listening. There are so many wonderful things and principles that I never thought of or never knew where they were. I wish I could write and drive so that I would have a list of all the cool things I have learned. The gospel is amazing and the principles are even more amazing. I'm so thankful to have the peace and the guidance I do in my life from my loving Heavenly Father. Life is so much better when we pray daily and remember Him in our lives. Mine has been at least, the amount of calmness and peace I know couldn't come from my own nerves.

Thoughts on This Easter Morning

"We know not all that lies ahead of us. We live in a world of uncertainty. For some, there will be great accomplishment. For others, disappointment. For some, much of rejoicing and gladness, good health, and gracious living. For others, perhaps sickness and a measure of sorrow. We do not know. But one thing we do know. Like the Polar Star in the heavens, regardless of what the future holds, there stands the Redeemer of the world, the Son of God, certain and sure as the anchor of our immortal lives. He is the rock of our salvation, our strength, our comfort, the very focus of our faith. In sunshine and in shadow we look to Him, and He is there to assure and smile upon us.

He is the central focus of our worship. He is the Son of the living God, the Firstborn of the Father, the Only Begotten in the flesh. He is "risen from the dead,...the first fruits of them that slept. He is the Lord who shall come again "to reign on the earth over his people." Non so great has ever walked the earth. non other has made a comparable sacrifice or granted a comparable blessing. He is the Savior and the Redeemer of the world. I believe in Him. I declare His divinity withougt equivocation or compromise. I love Him. I speak the name of Jesus Christ in reverence and wonder. He is our King, our Lord, our Master, the living Christ, who stands on the right hand of His Father. He lives! He lives, resplendent and wonderful, the living Son of the living God."

-President Gordon B. Hinckley

Our Saviour - Jesus Christ

Our Saviour Jesus Christ was born into this world with a purpose larger than any one of us can grasp, a perfect infant, who would always remain as pure as He was the day He was born.

A child who was teaching scholars truth they have never heard, a child who enlightened minds of all those He was around. A child who had so much love and compassion for everyone, a child who would grow to be our Saviour, our Advocate with the Father, our Dearest Friend.

A man who loved and consoled. A man who strengthened and lifted. A man who did not judge. A man who forgave and admonished. A man who died so we might live again.

As I watched this video this morning, my heart is lifted as I have added to my testimony that our Saviour lives and loves each and every one of us and will never give up on us or ever let go, it is us who lets go from time to time, and we need to remember and re-evaluate our lives frequently so we can continue to grasp His outstretched hand.

At the end is a verse I have never noticed in my studies before, and it makes you think of how and why you are living your life:

2 Corinthians 5:14-15

"For the love of Christ constraineth us; because we thus judge, that if one died for all, then were all dead: And that he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again."

May you remember whos you are, and look forward to the day when Our Saviour will grasp us in a loving hug and say to us, "Well done my good and faithful servant." "I love you."

Do I Listen?

Quote I came across that really made me think:

"If you feel that Heavenly Father is not listening to your petitions, ask yourself if you are listening to the cries of the poor, the sick, the hungry, and the afflicted all around you." - Elder Wirthlin

Religious Questions

I have been wondering for a while now on a couple of different topics:

1. If Christians is defined as: "of, pertaining to, believing in, or belonging to the religion based on the teachings of Jesus Christ." and "exhibiting a spirit proper to a follower of Jesus Christ; Christlike" and "a person who believes in Jesus Christ". Why then do people separate Catholics from Christians? How can someone who profess to believe in Christ and want to follow him not be deemed a Christian? I could be wrong in this, but from what I have heard how come they are always separated in conversations, i.e. "The Christians and the Catholics."? Wouldn't be be synonymous?

2. For quite a bit of religious beliefs and different church doctrines there is a standard belief that because Eve partook of the forbidden fruit all her seed is deemed to be sinful from birth because of the original sins of the parents. Now stating that if all humans are born with sin, and are not worthy of Gods presence because of such, and thus needed a Savior, Christ, to redeem them by suffering for and dying for their sins, i.e. John 3:16-17: "16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17. For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved." How was Christ perfect by this "doctrinal belief" of many churches? As was Christ born of Mary, literally. Was He just exempt from this law? Isn't God the same always, and everlasting and never changing God? So why would this "original sin" be for every other billions of people except for one? I know that Christ was the only prefect living soul on this earth, and I know that most of all other religions/faiths believe this as well, so how is He perfect if you believe in the original sin doctrine?

Just a couple of things that have boggled my mind, hopefully someone will offer some insight into this for me so I can understand.

Life

I can't promise that this will be my last entry for today as I have a lot on my mind lately and I'm not quite sure how to put it into words. I found a picture that I have made my goal picture in the whole scheme of becoming healthy again. I look at this and remember where I once was; resting heart rate in the low to mid 50s, 113lbs, 4.2%BMI, 5% Body Fat... etc. I won't even go to where I am now. I know I'll never be in that good of shape again because I'm not in training but nevertheless, anything would be better than now. So in reference to the title, life. Life is a fascinating thing. There are times when I really feel I have control over everything than there are others where I feel like everything is falling apart, that is how I feel right now. So many things going on that I can't even begin to write about. I was reading Julia's entry from her birthday where she was recounting parts of her life and this part really stood out to me and made me think:

"I found my self looking back at my life and thinking about where I am right now, and it wasn’t a purely pleasant experience. Many thoughts and emotions filled my head and my heart. At first I struggled, to recognize Gods hand and His plan in the events of my life; for it is nothing like I had once thought and even hoped it would be."

She goes on to say so strongly how she can see Gods Hand so clearly in her life and I want that. As I pondered on that and how much I want it the thought, "You have it and you know that you do so stop looking for what is already in front of you." It hit me so powerfully I can't even describe it. All this time I feel like I have been looking for something then the realization came that I have had it all along. The feelings, thoughts, directions. Just the little things that happen, and just as Julia stated above it doesn't happen the way we hoped it would be, but our Father in Heaven/God/Supreme Being no matter what you believe or how you came to believe it, He knows us for what and who we are and how we will recognize His hand in our lives. This is a song that really describes me:

Face lost in a crowd; Feet wondering empty streets
Voice crying outloud; Heart aching with every beat
Someone searching, searching for someone
Everywhere and endlessly
Wishing waiting; Could there be someone searching for
Someone Searching?
Soul battered and bruised; Pride wounded and left for dead
Ears deaf to good news; Eyes tear-drenched and sleepless red
Someone searching, searching for someone
Everywhere and endlessly
Wishing waiting; Could there be someone searching for
Someone Searching?
I hear the cries and I know the pain
Can it be denied, that everyone has been and will be
Someone Searching?
Love standing alone; Hands scarred by the nails of hate
Hope suffering long; Faith urging that it's not too late
Someone searching, searching for someone
Everywhere and endlessly
Wishing waiting; Could there be someone searching for
Someone Searching?
Loving and longing, always there is someone searching for
Someone Searching.

Her lyrics always get to me she is wonderful. I do write I have had a few things published and have always wanted to get into song writing I haven't had the time recently to even think, I always have too much to do (not including all the books I need to read). Maybe I'll sit down someone in the upcoming holidays to dink around a bit.

I do know that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, and I feel as though I can honestly say that. Yes I do struggle and feel alone but every morning when I drive to work and see all the beauty (yes there is beauty in SF) around me, how can I not know?

It is truly a wonderful sight. Life is rough and difficult but everyday there is a reason to live and do our best to become the person we desire to be and to be the person our God knows we can be.
"The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

"One’s purpose in life has an overriding influence on what he does with his time, energy, and resources. Without this sense of purpose, life has no compass."