dear two-thousand fourteen,

you were a rough year – i won’t lie or try to deny it. i don’t even know where to start 2014.

you were quite the stagnant year, or at least in my mind. i went to work, i went home, i did nothing. i grew increasingly irritable & sad. bored & impatient. i didn’t find excitement in the things i had in the past. you were a very emotional year – full of losses & some gains. i didn’t notice the gains i could only focus on the losses. you were a life changing year. i learned lessons. i learned a lot about myself. i learned i didn’t like who i had become – you made sure to throw it in my face so that i saw and got up the nerve to do something about it. you were a hard & difficult year, quite the roller coaster in every sense of the word. there were ups & downs. through your ups & downs you helped me start to learn what i needed to do to become a better me & put me on the process to living a happier & fuller life. i shed more tears than i think i had before – both happy & sad. the mister & i grew closer together and started creating a ‘newness’ in our marriage. i lost some relationships & gained some amazing ones that i wouldn’t trade for anything. i didn’t travel nearly as much this year as i had hoped nor did i go see the beauty of this great state we now live in. you reminded me that i needed to journal more than i had been. you reminded me that people can care. you reminded me that it’s okay to be who i am right now. you reminded me of my love for makeup. i’m learning to love me because of what you taught me last year. you sent my beautiful sister out to learn & grow in the world where she is thriving & teaching me with every letter i receive from her. you took me to visit with my grandma which was such an incredible & fun time. we adopted a beautiful & loving maltese/poodle mix who brings joy into my day everyday. yet you threw trials at more of my loved ones & expected us to grow. you were the year i decided i needed to take care of me & it was okay to ask for help and do what i needed to do to become the me i had lost. you were the year that let me know it’s okay to take back hope & grow.  what you taught me 2014 is that i need to put my attention on God, on myself, and on my little family. i put too much attention on you last year, on life & struggles. in the end what i have taken from your crazy ride is that i need to take my happiness into my own hands – thank you for the trials & awakenings 2014, because of what you taught me last year – i know i can continue to grow and make 2015 better than most of the years in the past have been by focusing on enjoying the moments as they come & not on counting down til that present moment is over & the next one begins.

thank you for the memories but goodbye two thousand and fourteen – you will not be missed.